Love & Basketball

Monica and Quincy have a very interesting relationship. In my opinion, they interact like a typical couple but the main difference between their relationship and the relationship of a typical couple is the fact that they have known each other pretty much their whole lives.

In society today, it is expected that the man take charge and control the relationship. Quincy’s gender identity is very traditional. What I mean by this is that he is a man’s man. He is a very powerful individual, both physically and emotionally and he controls every aspect of his life. This is evident at the beginning of the movie when he asks Monica to be his girlfriend and demands that she kiss him for five seconds. Monica, on the other hand, does not convey the traditional feminine characteristics. Today’s society has created expectations about the way that women in a relationship should act and Monica does not live up to these expectations. She is outspoken, driven and she struggles with balancing her feminine and athletic traits. She is a tomboy and doesn’t enjoy dressing like a typical girl. In fact, she normally dresses how a male should dress. She loves being one of the boys, playing basketball, and dreams of one day being the first woman in the NBA.

The main influence to Quincy’s gender identity is his father. Quincy strives to be exactly like his father in every thing that he does. From an early age, Quincy said that he was going to be in the NBA just like his dad. As for Monica, the main influence on her gender identity is her mother. Monica’s mother wants Monica to be a prim and proper young woman, but Monica rebels against her mother’s wishes. They have very different ideas about how Monica should be living her life.

Monica and Quincy’s gender roles compliment each other because Monica is the exact opposite of the girls who normally chase after Quincy and Quincy sort of completes Monica. What I mean by this is that for Monica, Quincy is a kind of rock that supports all of her decisions and is always there for her. Another factor that contributes to their gender roles complimenting each other is the fact that they grew up together. Because of this, they understand and can adjust to each other’s gender identity. Also, Monica needed someone to compete with and Quincy was just as competitive as her.

In general, gender roles are presented in the movie as typical to American society. What I mean by this is that everyone in the movie (besides Monica) lives up to what is expected of him or her when it comes to gender identity. Monica’s mom is a typical wife and mother. She takes care of the kids, cleans the house, has dinner on the table when her husband gets home from work and always looks her best. Monica’s dad is a typical husband and father. He goes to work everyday to provide for his family. The same goes for Quincy’s mother and father.

The nonverbal categories that dominate Monica and Quincy’s relationship are touch and gesture and movement. Touch dominates because when they are together, they can’t keep their hands off each other. The way in which they touch each other seems to me to comfort both of them. Gesture and movement dominate because in order to play basketball, they must move and gesture to each other. The nonverbal category that is absent from their relationship is physical appearance. Physical appearance is absent because Quincy doesn’t care that Monica isn’t drop dead gorgeous, doesn’t always wears makeup and doesn’t dresses in girly clothes and Monica doesn’t care that Quincy is the star basketball player at their college. She loves him for him, not for what he looks like or what he has achieved.

Quincy’s sees himself as an athlete and recognizes that he has many opportunities ahead of him. He is also a very proud individual who doesn’t think that he should show anyone the way he truly feels. While he knows that his family has been blessed financially. He doesn’t see that as something that should define who he is. He would rather play professional basketball than finish college and get his degree. Monica sees herself as a girl who just wants to play basketball. She also has trouble voicing how she really feels which is why, in my opinion, Monica and Quincy were attracted to each other and dated for such a long time. Both of them don’t think that they should show their emotions, but they learn that in order for their relationship to be successful they have to show each other the way they feel. Monica would rather wear basketball shorts than a dress, which makes her unapproachable to men and misunderstood by women. I think that both Monica and Quincy’s self concept is consistent with they way that the other characters in the movie see them. I say this because it seems like every other character in the movie recognizes the fact that Monica is a little bit self-conscious and Quincy is extremely overconfident.

From watching Monica and Quincy and the way in which their relationship developed, I learned that in order for a relationship to work, the two people involved must compromise. Without compromise, the relationship is doomed. The images and themes presented in the movie about gender aren’t very consistent with my view on gender. This is because I am a girly girl. I like to dress up and wear makeup, and I don’t really enjoy playing sports. As for the images and themes presented about courting rituals, I believe that it is the man’s job to pursue the woman. This kind of happened in the movie, except at the end when Monica was trying to win Quincy’s heart back. Finally, when it comes to dealing with conflict in a relationship, the images and themes presented in the movie are consistent with my views on conflict. I believe that communication is the key to making a relationship work, and without it, the relationship will not last very long. The main difference between Monica and myself is the fact that I am not very outspoken. I usually just go with the flow and don’t voice my own opinions, while Monica does. If I could give Monica and Quincy some advice about how to be more “able” communicators, I would tell them that a relationship is a two way road and that in order to make it work, they have to first of all, believe in each other and secondly, they must communicate more effectively.

CRASH – Jean (Sandra Bullock)

The character that I have chosen to analyze is Jean (Sandra Bullock’s character). She is a rich lady who appears to be very tense. She also lacks true friendships. Jean’s nonverbal mannerisms make it obvious that her communication style isn’t very effective. Her nonverbal style also aids in revealing her character throughout the film.

Jean is a very irritable, almost hypersensitive woman. She puts her day-to-day tasks before everything and everyone else and she never thinks about the reactions of others.

Her gestures and movements are rigid; every movement she makes is sharp and abrupt. These movements help display the anger she constantly has throughout the movie.

Jean is very well put together, but I think she does this to hide how scared she is. Some of the characters in the movie pick up on this. For example, when Anthony and Peter are walking past Jean and her husband, she is wearing a cocktail dress and some nice jewelry. This led Anthony and Peter to think that she and her husband have money and a nice car.

Jean’s voice is stern and unforgiving. She often raises her voice as a powerful and angry gesture. Jean is always yelling. Whether it is at her husband, the maid, or the locksmith. I think that the reason why she yells so much is because she has a lot of pent up aggression but no way to take it out. So she takes it out on the people around her. She also is always taking down to people. This shows that she thinks that she is better than everyone else around her.

Jean’s uses touch to establish interpersonal non-immediacy. What I mean by this is that she did not show anyone any displays of affection until the end of the film when she hugged her maid and told her that she was her best friend.

Chronemics affect Jean’s relationship with other characters because she is extremely impatient and she adheres to a schedule. The best example of Jean being impatient is when she is waiting for the locksmith to finish changing her locks. She is prancing around, walking back and forth, and she even asks the locksmith how much longer he will be. Jean is not willing to give any of her time to help others because she is too concerned with herself and schedules her time around her needs. When Jean falls down the stairs and hurts her ankle she calls one of her friends for help, but her friend tells her that she cant help Jean because she is getting a massage. This makes Jean reevaluate her life and her actions.

Jean perceived herself as being better than the other characters in the movie. She thinks this because of her socioeconomic status. She has more money than the characters that she interacted with in the film and therefore she believes that all of these people are going to harm her in some way. At the end of the movie, Jean’s perception of self changes because she realizes that she doesn’t have any true friends, except for her maid.

The way that Jean sees herself is consistent with the way that the other characters see her. The reason I say this is because when Anthony is taking to Peter, he describes Jean as another rich white woman.

I think that the media in the film had a lot to do with why Jean acted the way that she did. She was the wife of the district attorney of L.A. She is constantly in the public eye. I think that she probably hears stories that increase her negative feelings towards other races.

I think that the real reason why Jean is always angry is because she always has to put on a face. It could be the face of a wife or it could be the face of a celebrity, but every morning she wakes up and puts on a front in order to please her loved ones.

I think that Jean’s real problem is the fact that she doesn’t have any friends. She doesn’t realize this at first, but by the end of the movie, she realizes that no one is really there for her, except her maid.

After observing Jean’s personality and nonverbal communication style, I feel like the best way for me to sum her up as a character is by using the saying “money can’t buy happiness.” I say this because she has as much money as she could ever need, but she is not happy. In fact, she is miserable. According to the Cultural Identity Theory, certain experiences can “lead to an extreme discomfort in how individuals feel about who they are.” (http://www.udel.edu/) Jean is not happy with the person that she is until the end of the movie, although not all of her problems are solved.

I feel like Jean is misunderstood. Although she is rich and snobby, she is not living a perfect life. People who are on the outside looking in do not understand how someone who has so much could be so angry and bitter.

Jean’s level of ethnocentrism is especially high compared to some of the other characters. She had such a high level of ethnocentrism because she thought of herself as better than everyone else. Her level of xenophobia is also high. She wasn’t comfortable when she was in the presence of a stranger and she was suspicious of people from other ethnicities. For example, she was suspicious when the locksmith was changing the locks and when she passed Anthony and Peter on the street.

After watching Jean and her interactions with other characters, the universal truths that were reinforced in my mind are that it depends on where you are and whom you are interacting with. That will determine how you act nonverbally toward a person of another race. For example, both the locksmith and Jean’s maid are Latino and Jean isn’t scared of her maid but she is scared of the locksmith and his gang-member friends.

The only similarity between Jean and myself is the fact that we are both white women who have an advantage that other people do not have. The difference is the fact that I would never treat someone the way that Jean does regardless of the person’s race. I have experienced many different cultures and ethnic groups in my life, so I am used to being around people of a different race. Jean, however, was not. She is in her own little bubble with her high society friends. Because of this, she doesn’t know how to act when she is around someone who isn’t the same as her. The Social Identity Theory says, “When we belong to a group, we are likely to derive our sense of identity, at least in some part, from that group.” (Changingminds.org) Jean did just this. She became so involved with her so-called friends that she lost sight of what should have been the most important thing, her own happiness.

If I could give Jean some advice on how to communicate more effectively with other racial groups, I would tell her to be more open-minded when she meets someone new, regardless of where they are from. In my experience, most people are genuine and they have no desire to harm you or steal from you. However, she should still be aware, but being aware doesn’t mean being rude and self-centered.

Cultural Identity Theory
(http://www.udel.edu/soc/tammya/teaching/crju369/SUMMARY%20OF%20CI%20THEORY.htm)

Social Identity Theory
(http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/social_identity.htm)

First Blog Assignment

My initial reaction to Daniel Pink’s argument (that society is shifting from the information/knowledge age to high touch/high concept abilities that favor right-brained thinking) is that what he is saying has some truth to it.  This is evident in our society because of the fact that “more Americans today work in arts, entertainment, and design than work as lawyers, accountants, and auditors.” (Pink, p. 55) For example, medical schools used to be where students who made the best grades and got the highest test scores went. But now, some medical schools are incorporating art and spirituality into their curriculum. The reason for this is to make medical students more observant and more empathetic to their patients. The idea of high touch/high concept can be found in almost every single profession today. Students studying to become lawyers, doctors and accountants are required to take art classes in college. This proves that the right side of the brain is starting to matter more and that the left side of the brain is starting to matter less.

I don’t think that my “brain ratio” is very accurate because I thought that I was more right-brained than left. I was extremely surprised by my results because first of all, I am left handed, and if I am supposed to be more left-brained than right-brained, I would think that I would be right handed. Another reason why my results surprised me was because I have always thought of myself as being more creative than logical. I have also never wanted to be a lawyer or a judge or a mathematician.

I am not sure what has contributed to the left side of my brain being the more dominant side. If I had to guess, I would say it might be genetics. My father is extremely left-brained. He uses logic for everything, and my mother, although not as right-brained as my father, is very good at looking at the whole picture instead of just pieces of it. On the other hand, I always saw myself as a creative and caring person, someone who isn’t very logical and who doesn’t view life sequentially.

I have always been able to tell how people are feeling just by looking at them and by using their nonverbal behavior. I now know that this is a skill that more right-brained people possess than left-brained people. Taking into account the fact that I am more left-brained than right-brained, I don’t really understand how this is possible. Maybe it has something to do with how close my scores were.  My percentage score for the left brain is 57% and my percentage score for the right brain is 43%.

I feel like my cognitive composition may affect my relationships with others because left-brained people tend to not be as compassionate as right-brained people. Because of this, I might not feel how my partner wants me to feel, or I might not be as concerned with a problem as my partner wants me to be.

Some other insights that I have about my brain type are the fact that I have never been very good with numbers, and that is something that a left-brained person should be good at. Another issue that bothers me about my brain type is how society is sort of doing away with left-brained jobs. Although, my percentages were close, I am still more left-brained than right-brained and so what type of field am I supposed to work in once I graduate?